That aint runnin' (with apologies to Dire Straits)

I want my ESPN

Now look at them yo-yo's, that's no way to do it
With fancy runnin' shorts and trademark T's
That ain't runnin', that's no way to do it
Can't get a workout for nothin', gotta lift your knees

That ain't runnin', that's no way to do it
Hoppin' 'round like that just ain't for real
Maybe get a blister on your little toenail
Maybe get a blister on your heel

I just destroyed my microwave oven
Smoked the kitchen up could hardly see
Gatorade's in the refrigerator
Think I'll go watch TV

(See the little faggot in compression shorts and hoodie
Why the coverup, he's got no hair?
That little faggot buys out bankrupt corporations
That little faggot he’s a millionaire)

I just destroyed my microwave oven
Smoked the kitchen up could hardly see
Gatorade's in the refrigerator
Think I'll go watch TV

I shoulda learned to play the money market
I shoulda learned to sell subprimes
Look at that Baby Jogger with the 100 dollar haircut!
Man, I could use some o' that sometimes

And that one there, what's that? Hawaiian punch?
A hydro-pack like Captain Galaxy!
Oh, that ain't runnin', that's no way to do it
Can't get a workout for nothin', gotta lift your knees

I just destroyed my microwave oven
Smoked the kitchen up could hardly see
Gatorade's in the refrigerator
Think I'll go watch TV

Look a' here
Now look at them yo-yo's, that's no way to do it
With fancy runnin' shorts and trademark T's
That ain't runnin', that's no way to do it
Can't get a workout for nothin', gotta lift your knees

Workout for nothin' gotta lift your knees
Workout for nothin' gotta lift your knees

Look at that, look at that

Workout for nothin' gotta lift your knees

I want my, I want my, I want my ESPN

Workout for nothin' gotta lift your knees