Big eater that Jonathan...

Jonathan ate mechanically, in a series of measured forklifts.

Another Greensleeves cover

Aghast, my love, youtube is wrong, the cat's meow is this skirt, you see/ For I have troubled you so long, reclining on your canape.

News from the street

It's not the street, it's the stupidity.

Dixie melodies are back!

Silver plate your corn flakes with a Dixie melody/ When they shine, fish out nine, and float them on your whiskey.

Murdelize your brainstem with a Dixie melody/ Once it's died, swallow your pride, admit you've just turned sixty.

Great news?

At first I worried I was getting stupider with age. Then I realized I was just getting better at realizing how stupid I am.

Two great virtues for the price of one

Frances admired her spotless floor, and realized she had at last become adept at juggling the responsibilities of motherhood and apple pie.

You sure about that?

If you can't find life on Mars in your own back yard, maybe the spark plug on your lawnmower needs replacing - Werner Heisenberg

Does Death use her tongue when she kisses?

Death just gave me a little peck on the cheek. I tried to push her away but she came back and tried to get her tongue in this time. I folded my arms and glared at her savagely. She said she'd like to see more of me. Then I reminded her what happened when she said that to Agent Smith. Touché!

Bring your own Bruce

Brew swill us.

Alexander the Grateful?

In a parallel universe, an ornate tomb is inscribed "Philip of Macedon, aged 95". A small headstone beside it reads "Al the Banal, son".

Coming soon to an airlock near you...

Inverted by the low pressure, the gerbils resembled street-corner organ traffickers with their wares pinned to the linings of red overcoats.

Elk lips sink ships

Bucatini with elk lips, pine nuts, artichoke hearts, crème fraîche, chopped parsley.

God grant me...

God grant me the swordfish that ate Minneapolis, the unguentine to remain supercilious, and a didgeridoo for impromptu lawn parties.

Spooky

In the cool of the evening when all the world is givin' me the finger
I turn off all the apps and my feelings of self doubt begin to linger
First I say oh, you just been down on your luck
And then I cry, and scream - oh fuck!
Keepin' sane's not easy with a spooky little brain like you.

Turn on tune in drop out

Another message on the cusp of consciousness this morning:

"Blind yourself to dream uninhindered."

In other words, do not let reality stand in the way of your dreams.