I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm goin' to try for the couch if I can
'Cause it's the closest thing on hand
When I get my alky in my veins
Then I tell you things aren't quite the same
When I'm vomiting on rum
And I feel just like a total bum
And I guess I just fell on the flo'
But I guess that I just don't know
Didn't need no big decision
To try to alcoholize my life
'Cause when the booze begins to flow
And I tip back the bottle's neck
I could blowtorch with my breath
Can you help me here you guys?
Or you sweet girls come 'round to gawk?
Can you help me get up and walk?
'Cause I guess I fell on the flo'
But I guess I just don't know
I know that I got bored a thousand beers ago
I wanna go sail down the darkened streets
In my great big SUV
Going from this bar here to that
I put on a jackass' suit and cap
Into the big city
Where a man can be free
Of all the content in this brain
And of his family and his friends
Oh, and I guess I need a smoke
Oh, but I guess the lighter's broke
Ethanol, smell the breath on me
Ethanol, I had a wife and I had a life
Because a sixpack in my gut
Makes my bladder feel like lead
And then I better get to the head
When the booze begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
About all the Slim-Jims I chowed down
And everybody standin' while I'm on the ground
And all of the bartenders makin' crazy sounds
All the dead bottles piled up in mounds, yeah
Wow, that alky is in my blood
All the good it does my head
Yeah, I think God, I'm still not dead?
Ooohhh, I think God am I still here?
And I think God he prolly don't care
And again I'm on the flo'?
But I guess I just don't know
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