New Business Model

Having gotten completely fed up with referrer spam making tracking of statistics on this blog impossible, and with the acceptance that the statistics are anyway virtually non-existant, and realizing furthermore that the posts here can be just as easily followed on my Twitter timeline, I have decided to change this blog's "Business Model" and start just putting up more "blog-like" posts including observations about various things. Or at least that is the plan for now. In fact I suspect it will make very little difference what I finally end up writing here.

Of course, if after this post, I end up receiving hordes of complaints from people saying that I've destroyed one of their favorite pastimes, I will try to see what I can do to make it up to them. 

I think I know where I'm goin', here...

Zombies typically avoid newfangled GPS solutions, preferring to navigate by dead reckoning.

Nasty...uh...bump, there.

Newton was in fact preceded by a certain Holger Schwanz. Unfortunately it was a Hubbard squash that fell on his head and he never recovered.

Drop it!

When Winky filled his squirt gun with ice water, he ened up getting arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.

He's in denial, I'm afraid...

You're missin', Jim, should you decide to accept it.

What's that on your face?

Ricky slipped on his nose-cancelling headphones whenever Rebecca passed by.

Beep-beep!!

The road through the canyon was a known organ traffic route, and today the Wurlitzers were bumper to bumper.

Easy, easy...

Leonard shuffled gingerly across the carpet, trying not to spill the precious droplet of information he was cradling in his noggin.

My what a lovely thought...!

Make up your mind with Neuralia™ cerebral beauty products.

All have one, and all shall have prizes!!

That looks good. Can I have won too?

I'll have what he's having...

If Democrats and Republicans can't find a reason to stop bickering, the terrorists will have one.

Pass the chip-otle...?

PlanetaryNews - Extraterrestrials use non-carbon-based life forms to make silicon carné.

Just do it!

SciMedNews - Study shows that sub-optimal solutions are significantly more fun.

Looks great against that cosmic microwave background!

Marjorie decided to wear her red shift to the big bang.

OK now stick out your tongue. No, your tongue!

As Heresford's condition deteriorated, he had tattoos put on parts of his body so he could remember what they were called.

Ideo-what?

People with ideomotor apraxia are physically unable to perform an action if they have been requested to do so. Sound like someone you know?

Forensic cuisine...

The taco sauce under the victim's fingernails showed he was trying to fight off hunger when he died.

And that aint much...

Mrs. Hinchliff deemed Roberta's contribution one plastic bag short of an air toilet.

Fries with that?

It wasn't easy inspecting livestock in all that wind, but finally the mussed herd mustered mustard.

For What It's Worth

Theres somethin' wrong in this scene
What it is, doesn't look too clean
There's a mole in my cellphone's software
Tellin' me, pretend I'm not there

I think it's time we stop, children, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

There's poverty lines being drawn
Nobody's up if everybody's down
Poor people losin' their minds

Gettin' so much insistence from behind

Time we stop, hey, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

What a field day for the rich
A thousand corpses in a ditch
Crushed by the weapons we made
Bought with the money you paid
 

It's time we stop, hey, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

Obliteration's a trip

Into your life it will drip
It starts when your Facebook gets hacked
Try to complain, they come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

We better stop, hey, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

We better stop, hey, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

We better stop, hey, what's my password?
Instead o' movin' on we're flyin' bass-ackwards

Look out!

For Hegslager, Twitter served as a sort of air-toilet for his deepest grievances.

Hey wait a minute...!

Harvey became suspicious when the shaman allowed a glass of milk to spill on his makeshift altar and then began to weep above it.

Step right up!

SciMedNews - Study shows death is actually good for you.

Hey, where's everybody goin'?

Rankin the stand-up comic didn't like to be interrupted, and asked the audience to please hold their laughter until he finished his routine.

Wanna see it?

Donald bought himself a pocket lobster.

Now you've done it!

The main reason for doing anything appears to be avoiding what would happen if you didn't do it.

As if in a dream...

Secondary revision (n) (psych): waking up on the couch and pouring your drink back into the bottle

Cut that out!

If nature abhors a vacuum, why does it keep sucking?

Nice to know god is watching over us...

The human lifespan is determined by the moment when the pleasure of watching us die begins to outweigh the pleasure of watching us suffer.

Run that by me again?

I could tell I wasn't being clear. My shadow was plainly visible.

No, I never meant for you to....oh never mind!

Finally we met god and asked him what consciousness was and he apologized and said it was all a mistake and that it wouldn't happen again!

Hmm. He don't dance though, do he?

That one over there on the hillside, all by himself, they call him Resonates with No One.

First time *they* ever called *me*...

"Ricky? That was 911. They said you're supposed to be having a heart attack."

Can't help it...

Gerald never got to the point, and he loved to frolic on the hillside. He was a ramblin', gambolin' man, but she loved him anyway.

Now that's usin' your head...!

Never wear gloves while invisible, if you don't want to show your hand

What's he doin' with 'im in there anyway...?!

Put the dog down and get out of the closet, Larry. Its "carpe diem" and "cave canem", not the other way around!

Now that's thinkin ahead...!

Instead of a laptop, Mudlip carried a 1/2 inch steel plate in his backpack. In case of a shootout, it might just save his life.

Hmm, needs more bitterness...

A soup made from teardrops and mangled hearts.

Ah 'twas all a dream!

When Nelson awoke from his reverie, the girl he held was his glass, and her nipple but a ripple in his tipple.

Oh I mighta known that was gonna happen...

Preexclusiogallinacionumeration.

Pass the mustard please...

The panther said he would eat Mudlap, but it was all ingest.

Talk about original sin...!

By the time Steinpiltz was born, the police were already there waiting for him with handcuffs.

Takes guts...

"My name's Lysergic Acid Diethylamide," recited the gel cap nervously when it became his turn, "and I'm a psychedelic."