Origin of Words, part 2...

When Adam stepped in eavesdropping, he regretted spying on her.

500 years later....

A little window popped up saying, "Please wait while printing press is being invented."

That's all folks!

Priscilla the Pig was a hell of a nice gal, sooie generis.

You've lost that lovin' feelin'...

We often groaned together, but now we've grown apart.

Get with the program, man!

The vertiginous excrescences of the frog-latin sub-text were lost on Wildroot.

There's been no hanky-panky.

The DNA results are in. We are all god's children.

'Swine

Swine's the finest word, said he
After a copious think
For with the 's' it begs us feed
Without it, bids us drink!

Time to take out the trash...

The fabric of your argument is not enough to garb a djinn.

I'm actually that other guy!

StrangeFacts - Massachusetts man discovers he is actually someone else.

Keep 'em comin'!

TechNews - Scientists harness power of dead rolling over in graves as new source of renewable energy.

Big savings on heavy nuclei!!

Buy a proton and get a neutron at no extra charge!

What's he got that I aint?

Ralph became distressed as Penelope began to drift Edward.

He'd never get past the past...

Harry gave up his dream of being a historian when he realized there was no future in it.

Give the writer's cheer!

Wordward ho!

Hand me that remote....

FracturedNews - "Powerful Equine Painkiller", by Pistorius, is the longest-running animated Majolica-floor film-short in the Benelux region.

This one's a 1953 Type-O Californian...

True hemophile vampires store their fine reds in climate-controlled bloodsheds.

I think it was chapter 5, in fact....

"Ahh!" sighed the character delectably,"I haven't felt this good in pages!"

You want extinct?

Reuters - Any remaining dinosaurs unlikely to have survived second impact, experts say.

We'll come back later...

The developers stopped at the city gate when they saw the "Do Not Suburb" sign.

You check the bathrooms on the concourses yet?

Passengers are requested to kindly sit down and shut up until we've rounded up enough people to fill this plane.

Hasta la disaster!

Reuters - Harbinger of Doom killed in car crash enroute to official policy announcement.

How many watts is there in this LED thingy?

Reuters - Grandson of inventor of clip-on lampshade dies penniless in Minneapolis.

Find a happy medium...

Be fine. Let nature take its coarse.

I want to speak to the manager!

Reuters - Uproar in UK as horsefeathers found in parkas labeled "pure goose down".

The evolution of words...

"Lousy bat's turd," muttered the cave man, wiping his foot on a rock.

So, where you fromage?

It was sharp, like goat cheese, but wholly cow!

27,883,495...27,883,496...27,883,497...

As his punishment, Clemens was condemned to throw a wadded up paper at the wastebasket for the rest of his life, and miss every single time.

Keep it down, eh?

The first time I spoke as a child is still clear in my mind. I remember my dad telling me to shut up.

How to make a significant difference from scratch.

For this recipe you'll need 500g protons, 500g neutrons & 250mg electrons. Work sharply, the lifetime of a free neutron is only 15 minutes!!

Form protons & neutrons into nuclei of carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus, chlorine, and sodium, using electrons to neutralize.

Fashion atoms into water, proteins, sugars, fiber, salts, and fats. You may also create a breathable atmosphere at this time, if desired.

Combine ingredients and mix until a thick batter is obtained. Ladle into individual difference molds and bake at 350° until significant.

Ya gotta try not to think about it...

To add to their hardships, the prisoners were forced to live without middle names while in captivity, sometimes for years at a time.

Come hither, my sweetie!

DatingWorldwide - In North Africa, young men cut their dates from trees, dry them in the sun, and pack them off for sale around the world.

There, that's better...

Feeling insecure after his run-in with his boss, Reginald went out and bought some kapok and a staple gun, to upholster his ego.

Spell that for me?

Gareth brought a felt-tip marker to the Kickoff Meeting so he could write names on the faces.

Coming soon to a sewer near you!

Revenge of the Drains: For hundreds of years, you rammed your waste effluvia down our throats with impunity. Now...it's payback time!!

You from around here?

Jason's fossil record was patchy at best, but he was believed to have had a great aunt named Slow Loris.

OK, now step onto the treadmill...

A free range bird gets more exercise, ensuring a healthy chicken tikka.

How many fingers do you see?

You know a teacher is doing OK if his pupils are responsive.

Let's drop it...

Every single morning Nigel got his shoes all wet walking through the grass. He seemed to be in some kind of dew loop.

I auto teach you a thing or two!!

You complete me. In fact you auto-complete me.

A wee bit o' home far from home...

Jim's dream was to open a fish-and-chips pub on the red planet and call it the Deep Fried Mars Bar.

Better change out o' them wet duds...

There was wet snow falling as they entered heaven and within minutes their souls were cloaked.

Splot!

By eating his cheeseburger over a newspaper, Harold hoped to ketchup on his reading during lunch.

What a lovely purse!

You can't make pink spurs out of owl's hair - Estonian proverb

Darling, we are growing older....

Malcolm always thought Julie looked fine with grey hair, but unfortunately she dyed before he had a chance to tell her.

Try it with yours in the freezer compartment!!

PetFacts: Snakes have a built-in anti-freeze mechanism triggered by embarrassment.

Hey, wake up, it's just a drat beam!

I felt a drip and started sleaming.

Store Meme Undead

Chocolate store meme undead
But truth said, justice pads
Wet stains swerve
Answer says all, sauce-head

Tick off lies unfriendly
Saddened dayglo otters lay
Sentient goaded urge
Embolden amnesic clay

And I say, Lord have mercy
Lord have mercy, mercy on me
I'm just tryin' to find my baby
Won't someone please send her home to me?