Stolen Oysters

On Saturday an old woman was caught shoplifting two oysters at our fish place. The shopkeeper made her give them back, and simply threw them back into the bin. I wondered who ended up buying them, and if they tasted any differently from other oysters that had not been stolen. Perhaps they'd been traumatized by the incident, felt the stigma of having been involved in a criminal act - however inadvertantly. Could such a thing lead to bitterness, or add an igneous, sulphurous note to an otherwise crisp, iodic nose?

An artwiculate nugget

Alas, Prosaic! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of insipid jest, of most redolent fancy; he hath bored me on his back porch a thousand times...

Neh?

Cecity is the mother of abstention.

Spanish-English translation error in Shakira song

I'm crazy 'bout your tie-clip, loca loca loca.

On a Cleaning Day

On a cleaning day
Rise and look around you
Is this my home? This pen?!
On a cleaning day
How it will astound you
That the filthiness found in your bathroom
Defies human ken
You'll feel part of every basin, tub and tile
As you lunge
For that sad sponge
That's not been wiggled in a while
And on a cleaning day...On a cleaning day...
You can scrub forever...
And ever...
And ever more. . .

An insult in waiting.....

The weakest link in a chain of fools.

A clove by any other name would smell as sweat

Alexander had memorized the national anthems of 17 varieties of garlic.

Mississippi cresting threatens oysters

Reuters - US Army sending C130 transports of Frenchmen armed with lemons and three-pronged forks to Louisiana to avert oyster disaster.

At least it aint shufflin' off to Buffalo....

Can someone explain why the distal phalanx of my left index is pointing off toward Mecca?

Now you herd it all...

Como agua para elefantes.

C'est pas gravlax!

Those who would inveigle me/ Need only lox & bagle me

Embarassing moments in medicine....

Horace explained to the doctor that he'd been daubing Brylcreem on his toes and lost his balance.

Let's hear it for the Big Guy!!

If we said God was implausible, would he thunder us a plause?

Help!! Old blue-eyes is back!!

Dreamed I inserted a sleeping person inside a human skeleton. Upon awakening, they opened their eyes from within the skull's eyes.

Thumbtwiddlers anonymous

I tried to repair my watch and now I've got time on my hands.

Kneelin' just to keep from feelin'...

Far from nügen.

Hellman's soliloquy...

Whether 'tis nobler in a bowl 2 suffer aloe vera as a mayonnaise portion, or 2 drip oil into a sea of eggyolks, and by emulsing, blend them?

Binny Bones Bites it Big

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water: Osama Bin Laden buried at sea.

Sendin' out an SMS....

Dreamed an SMS came on my phone and woke up to go look at it. No SMS there, but Bin Laden is dead.

Death Counts

Woke up this morning with two words on my mind: Death counts.

Why Death counts?

As in Death counts are on the rise in conflicts around the world?
As in Death counts on the folly of man to fill his coffers?
As in Death counts ride phantom horses over desolate plains?
As in Death counts the minutes 'til we're in his grasp?
As in Death counts, but life doesn't?

Why Death counts? Still counting...